Listening to your partner in this way will help you understand what they are feeling and where they are coming from. When it comes time for you to respond, you can pause the conversation to really think about your answer. Really focus on what your partner is trying to say, rather than what your response is going to be. Instead of thinking about a conversation as a way to voice your opinions, think about how you can act as a sounding board to a partner who wants to express something to you. While this might seem like an obvious tip, it is often easier said than done if you are not in the practice of active listening! When you are working to practice emotional attunement with a partner, it’s important that you really listen to what they are saying before you try and speak. And at the same time, most of us have probably recognized when a person is not fully engaged in a conversation, so we know how hurtful this behavior can be. Have you ever caught yourself tuning out of a conversation because you are so focused on what YOU are going to say next? Whether we want to admit it or not, most of us are probably guilty of this. Here are a few tips on practicing attunement in a romantic relationship: Listen before you speak Practicing emotional attunement is often easiest and the most important in romantic relationships where you are the main support system for a partner. It may not come naturally at first, but over time you can develop emotional attunement in your platonic and romantic relationships. That said, even in cases of attachment disorders in romantic partners, it is possible to practice emotional attunement in your relationship if you and your partner are willing to focus on empathy, communication and listening. If you and your partner are able to approach negative emotions as a team, you will build trust and respect in your relationship which can improve your emotional connection.īecause emotional attunement is often established (or not established) in infancy, it can be hard to emotionally attune to your partner right off the bat - especially if you or your partner have developed an attachment disorder because of a lack of emotional attunement from a caregiver. As noted, emotional attunement involves working towards addressing your emotions as a team. Emotional attunement not only helps you understand your partner and avoid conflicts, it also helps you grow your relationship and your connection to one another. If you and your partner are not emotionally attuned, you may misinterpret their emotions, which can lead to poor communication and conflict. If you and your partner are emotionally attuned, you will be able to recognize each other’s emotions (both positive and negative) and work on ways to address these emotions as a team. Get full access to our expert relationship coaches, therapist approved quizzes, and more free for one week! Start being honest with yourself and your love needs, download Relish to get started on your relationship and self-love journey. Unlike the infant/caretaker dynamic, you do not need to make all of their needs go away - but you do need to approach things that are causing them to feel a certain way as a team. In addition to empathizing with your partner, you need to act to help them deal with their emotions. This is where emotional attunement comes into play, especially in romantic relationships. While empathy, or the ability to understand and share a person’s feelings, is important, it is also important to take action and engage with a person’s emotional state. Emotional attunement is about more than just empathy. Though the infant/caregiver analogy is often used to describe emotional attunement, emotional attunement is extremely important in relationships between adults. This ability, and working to address the need of the infant whether its hunger or sleepiness, is emotional attunement People often say that mothers and fathers can distinguish between an “I’m hungry” cry and an “I’m tired” cry. Caregivers must be emotionally attuned to their infants so that they can recognize what the baby needs and address the needs. Infants experience emotions such as hunger, sleepiness and discomfort, but are unable to express these needs because they do not have the language to do so. Many psychologists explain emotional attunement using analogies about infants and caregivers. Emotional attunement is an important part of all relationships, but is especially important in romantic partnerships. Emotional attunement is the state of recognizing, understanding and engaging with someone’s emotional state.
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